Okay, I completely failed to get passes at the WorldStage Roadshow. I had no idea what was going on, and even if I did get picked to get up on the stage, I wouldn’t have known the answers to the questions. We got to watch An Honest Mistake perform, and they were really good. I was so scared, cause everything was happening really fast, and all the other fans that were there were really hardcore. It’s so intimidating. Utt really kept helping the contestants with the answers, and then VJ Holly was like ‘ really? not brown instead?”. Jin was really funny! Gosh throughout the whole thing my heart was beating so fast, I was so nervous even though I wasn’t even up on stage. It was so much fun but I didn’t get any tickets! Maybe it wasn’t meant to be? No, if I wanted it enough, they would see it and ask me to get on stage and do the QandA. Wow! I can’t believe I was standing so close to so many celebs! Yea, I must’ve been so starstruck that I couldn’t function. But sometimes I get like that around other people too.
Today I want to talk about a certain thing that happened to me when I was in highschool. This girl came to my house. She ordered pizza. Then she wanted to wash her hands. They left the faucet running. Her friend suggested that they clean up after themselves. She spurned the idea, and said that i’m here to clean everything up. This story sounds crazy and hard to believe. But that’s exactly what happened. I never imagined myself being jealous of someone like that six years later, yet here I am. I don’t like being treated like the help, but people think that just because i don’t have any plans with anyone, i’m always available to do their bidding.
Is everything really my fault? My whole family, everything that they have to go through, is it because of me? I never wanted to confront that. I kept saying that it was my dad. I tried to tell him that i’m not the one coming between him and my mom; and that he did it all by himself. But relationships are just that hard and complicated. Do parents really sacrifice everything for their kids? Was I being unappreciative of everything they were doing for me?