This is your movie, the rest of us are just watching it. It’s your world and I just live in it.

So i’ve been working on cleaning up all the spam that’s been accumulating in my comments. Believe me, i really do miss the times when my comments were open and you didn’t have to register with my site. I don’t know how everything got so complicated. Truth is, if not for spam, who else is going to comment on my blog?

Time and time again, everything that happens in my life shows me that no one reads my blog. I mean, had they read it, they would certainly have some answers to the questions they have about what i might be upset about.

When I think about the car accidents I’ve been in, I really have to wonder what I actually avoided. It was never raining, and it was always during the day. Coming out of the other end unscathed with everyone else taking the fall and helping me out of it, what were they really trying to accomplish? I’m here now, but that doesn’t really help anyone either.

Growing up, my mom told me to be thankful for my siblings, that i’m lucky to have been born into such a big family. There was nothing that I brought to the table that someone else couldn’t. No one else would ever care about me as much as my family does. This is as good as it would ever get for me. And if I didn’t like it, there wouldn’t be any point looking for anything else cause there would be nothing better. No one else would feel i’m worth anything. Except maybe a menial task. Or two. Because that’s how easily people can replace me.

So it’s the finale week of Neighbours. Everyone is wrapping up their year. In neat, brightly-coloured bows. Everyone i know has their storylines for the year coming to a close, with things to celebrate, and accomplishments to talk about. And things to look forward to next year. It doesn’t take much for me to be reminded of my dread for holiday season – it doesn’t even have to be that close, or in my face. It’s strange; when I was younger I loved the decorations at the all malls, and was eager to take photos with christmas trees. I don’t think it’s necessarily that things changed, rather they just went downhill. Just add another item to the list of things I hate. Good things just don’t last. People don’t run out of kindness to you, they just move on to better things.