I’m exactly the same as when i started writing in this blog 6 years ago. In fact, everything in my previous blog even, it’s all the same stories. I’m still the same person. The same fears and insecurities, the same issues that i never seem to be done dealing with my whole life. But if you see me you wouldn’t recognise me. Youth is a useful facade to hide what’s really going on in your life and with the people close to you. For everyone else, it fades to reveal a stronger self that they’ve grown to become. But living the way I have, not changing the way I am certainly takes it’s toll, and my years inevitably show on my face, all the problems that i ran from now in plain sight to everyone.
Everything didn’t end up the way i hoped or even thought it would. I’m not a person that i’m proud to be. I don’t know if I can ever be anything more than that. And no one wants to be around that. My friends should just drop me because you can never get anywhere carrying so much dead weight.
In the end, I can mean something to someone, but what we all really need is someone who can make us happy. I may be a part of someone’s life, but I don’t have to be, certainly when they have much better things in the centre of theirs.