Post 257

Posted by azreen | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 11-12-2015

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 I was so lucky to have the opportunity to pose with the amazing, gorgeous and incredibly sweet @alive_well_fair whom I finally met after so long!

In my life i’ve met many amazing people.

Sometimes when i look in the mirror I feel like I just can’t take it anymore. How will I ever stop wanting everything to be different. How can i stop that constant dissatisfaction. Am I letting it get to me? Am I going to turn into someone who continuously damages myself in multiple attempts to obtain something impossible?

Why aren’t I a part of something. I hate having this strange loneliness eat away at me. I have this strange dependence on a hectic work environment and long hours in order to distract me from what i’m really feeling. From how much I hate myself. People always ask me what that longing stare means, and i’ve been trying to figure it out myself. I can’t bear to admit to that I need someone to talk to. I like to think that I don’t need anyone and can be alone.

In my life i’ve met many amazing people. I wish I was like them. I wish i could be one of them. I wish I could sit with them at lunch or whatever meal they might have and be a part of their engaging conversation about their fascinating lives.

I’ll never forget the selflessness shown to me by people like Hud, Allia Najmie, Ariff, Lily, Fara Nadia, Airy. Some people I just really click with and wish I could always be around cause they make me feel like I can be myself and say anything to them.

I always thought my gift was death. Or that it couldn’t come soon enough. Maybe I just didn’t make the most of my existence like they did. Or that I have too much pride to admit that.

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