I feel like I just live for people’s amusement, so they can look at my life and laugh at me. Look at what I went through and shake their heads at me. So they can know what I am and feel better about themselves. Maybe I was never alone. Everyone was always around, always there to judge. Everyone has so much to say, everyone has their opinions and has so much time to share. Everyone likes to put in all this effort when it comes their turn to chide me for what i’ve made with my life. And that has always been the extent of their involvement.
I have never seen any evidence disproving that people find it fun to look at my situation and tell me how bad they think it is. I can’t even expect pity anymore. Just amusement. They do! They like finding out what’s going on with me so they can laugh about how pathetic I am. No one’s given me any reason to believe otherwise. Suffice to say people who have gone on to better things and had great things happen to them have forgotten about me.
Didn’t you promise me that you wanted to be friends with me no matter what? Didn’t you say to me that as my family you’d do anything for me? Do you even want to know what i’m going through? Did the thought of me even cross your mind? Or how i’d feel?