Post 210

Posted by azreen | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 29-03-2013

16

Well, it’s my 210th post, and it’s just that time of night that I really wish I was asleep because I don’t want to feel or think about everything that happened today, and if i’m not asleep i’ll just feel really lonely. It’s so hard for me to face the social stigma of having a past history of car accident, especially one that was as bad is that was. My whole body hurts and I feel so exhausted and weak. But the moment I lie down I can’t seem to fall asleep. I feel like crying. I’m not used to my own house anymore. And sitting here alone just makes me think about all those painful times where I had to hide behind or underneath furniture in my feeble attempts to avoid the scrutiny. People are much happier now that they don’t need to come upstairs. They seldom do these days. And as fate would have it the only place left for me is here. I’m hungry all the time, and I just feel so humiliated and frustrated. The other day I just turned around and started bitching about everything in the whole world to Yue Keen. He was so nice to just listen to me, and I all those times I saw him I should have learned a lesson from how he handles things. I can’t believe I resorted to such drastic measures. I don’t know if it was out of desperation or loneliness. Everyone talked about how when I was reaching to pick up an object and it looked like I was trying to hug Kelvin. He was so nice to me too, but now that I accidentally humiliated us both, I guess I shouldn’t expect him not to avoid me. I posted up a whole wish list, but honestly I don’t want anything for my birthday. I don’t want anyone to wish me happy birthday, I don’t want any cake, I don’t want any presents of any sort. I just want to sleep. And if I never wake up, then that’s okay.

Comments posted (16)

there’s even gossip in university life?

gosh, why would they think that.

i like to sit alone in the air con , darkness and just closing my eyes , not thinking about the problems in my life

when it’s dark it makes me believe that all my insecurities go away. but unfortunately that’s when they and many other things surface.

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ñïàñèáî çà èíôó.

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thanks!

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tnx for info.

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thanks for information!

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ñïñ.

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tnx for info.

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ñïñ.

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ñýíêñ çà èíôó!!

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áëàãîäàðþ!

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ñýíêñ çà èíôó!

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áëàãîäàðåí!

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ñïñ!!

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thanks for information!

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