Post 206

Have you ever asked this in your relationship? “Do you want me, or are you just bored?”

I was told once, that I tend to layan people too much, and then when I told my sister about this, she said to me that I tend to allow people to manipulate me. What on earth? Allow? Why do you think it’s called manipulating then? 


I’ve been going over this a million times over. People seem to think that by making use of me, they’re doing me a favor in what they perceive to be testing, or rather, contributing to how useful I am. To them, the fact that they get what they want without any of the effort is simply their “side” of the bargain. A manipulator will never admit that they are imposing a win-lose situation on someone. The fact that i’m so used to being “tested” like this speaks to what my home environment is. Clearly. Anyway, i’m tired of being “included” in someone’s mission for “self-development” and then being scolded later because what I did didn’t turn out exactly as perfectly as they wanted. You came to me and asked me to do it! I tried to help you, so if you’re not going to appreciate what people do for you then you should at least refrain from shouting at them when you’re the one who finds the task too menial to do in the first place! I have never received great feedback about my personality, but whether or not I am a terrible human being, if all you see in me is just extra human resource who can be awfully handy for a few things some of the time, then please either leave me alone, or get away from me.

What are you doing with someone if they don’t think that you’re amazingly beautiful, funny, irresistible. At least that. You said that he accepts you flaws and all. Do you not see the warning sign in that sentence? What in heavens is he doing telling you that you have flaws?!? He’s supposed to tell you that you’re perfect to him! Have you never the OneDirection song? So much provocation for profanity. If that’s the guy you wanna be with then be my guest to ruining your own life. Figure out what it is you’re looking for, and be honest with him about what it is you want. Assuming that he’s still there when you’ve finally got that list down. If you’re not even sure about what kind of person you wanna be with, then how are you going to know how you plan to spend the rest of your life? Life is hard. Whether you’re living it alone or with someone you love. Everyone at some point is pushed to their limit where they really can’t cope, and that’s inevitable, but don’t let your hard life make someone else’s life harder too. And then he’s going to blame you for not handling your own issues or not having your own life completely together. Funny, considering how the whole point was to support each other even through all the tough times. When you’re so involved and share so much with someone, it’s easy to accidentally pull them down with you now and again. You can’t always depend on someone to pick you back up, even if they’re there with you. You have no choice but to be an adult, change what you need to, and if there’s help offered to you, then that’s a great bonus. But that’s all it is. I can’t believe i’m letting this be said, especially here.

2 thoughts on “Post 206

  1. adilaabdulhalim

    Yea people are taken advantage of a lot in life.

    It’s just difficult to be that type of person to just stand up for what’s right and tell people to back off.

    It’s hard to have that really dominant personality.

    I salute people who are like that.
    They are not easily influenced.

    1. azreen Post author

      and when the people around you actually want to influence you and thus rather you not stand up, you know you have to be scared. What’s right for you may not be right for me. It’s funny, because I get all this criticism for always selfishly doing only what i want, and then at the same time i get “you’re so worried about what people think”.

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