It’s that time of year again. Soon, i’ll meet so many relatives, and i’ll have to explain to them yet again that i’m here, unemployed, and not overseas like their children. It’s my first Raya without my oldest sister, so I expect i’d be really upset that day. When I woke up this morning I felt my heart beating so fast, it was almost blaring in my ears. I don’t know if it’s that usual thing that happens to me when Raya approaches — I somehow have less appetite and eat in such a reluctant way. I managed to finish my food last night and this morning, but I was surprised by how quickly I felt full. I wasn’t satisfied and wanted to eat more, taste more things, but I was already at my limit, how disappointing. I feel like lately everything bad that could happen did. I haven’t explained here about this girl who told all her friends that I was the one who sent her a hate mail. I don’t even understand why I came under fire for that cause she and I talked a lot, and I thought she knew me. Yesterday I could barely get up, I was in so much pain. I think if i’m not careful I might end up a lot worse, but I feel like taking care of myself at this point is taking so much effort.