June 2016

Post 278

I don't think I necessarily rely on snapchat as an outlet, especially compared to twitter. I just feel like people are more authentic on snapchat. They're just open about themselves, and their stories are spontaneous moments. You get a no-holds-barred look into their everyday lives. Even I feel more free to be myself on snapchat than instagram. But i'm so glad and thankful that I still have this blog today. Actually, I just like to say whatever I can to throw shade at facebook users. Mean, I know. There are many of them who're harmless. I mostly side-eye people who are so obsessed with their reputation. "Why did u tag me in that photo? I look so unglam, delete it!" Sometimes when I say stuff about other social networks, I feel like mentioning "Yes, looking at you". Some people are so obsessed with maintaining their precious perfect image. It's so important to them, and the way they're so devoted to their profile page, it's like a shrine. To themselves. You can't control how people perceive you. If people only like you because they believe you are exactly the way you are represented on your facebook profile, then how can that be real? And why would you settle for that? Live your life and be who you are. Do it for yourself, not to impress others. Okay, so i've reached that part of the year where i'm like feeling that raya nostalgia. I don't know why it keeps happening to me every year, like somehow for some reason I want to be at home during puasa month. Last year, even though I hardly spent time with my family, it wasn't even that tough because I was hardly eating anyway. Like by the time I get off work it would be way past buka puasa and everyone else had already cleared out and gone home and I can eat anything and wherever I wanted without having to queue or wait for a table. It's always exhausting though. I think this time of the year has that effect on a lot of people. It makes me think of my late grandmother, and how we always gathered at her house for raya eve. And there was that really fun raya in 2010 when I got to watch The Hills reruns at her house on raya morning. When I was younger I was too busy stressing about what to wear, and how i'd look in raya photos. Which I still have a hard time with. I'm glad that I managed to cut certain people out of my raya last year. I worked through raya last year, and because of that I didn't have to spend it with my dad. Coincidentally there's that really sad emptiness as well when i'm between seasons of How to Get Away with Murder, Scandal, and Younger. It's especially sad when stuff happens like Nashville getting cancelled. Good Wife ended. So that just leaves me with OITNB which I would probably only be able to watch after raya or something. And I also have to figure out what to do while waiting for new The Catch next year.

Post 277

Who are the people that I should have in my life? Who are the people that are worth trusting? I already know who I am. I was there, I know what was said to me. I don't need someone to tell me what she said to me, or what not to feel offended by. I don't need someone to teach me what happened to me cause I was the one who actually experienced it. I know who was kind to me and who wasn't. She's just that important to you.