Post 241

Posted by azreen | Posted in Pretty Little Liars | Posted on 21-08-2014

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Okay, I am pretty happy with Pretty Little Liars right now. I guess I always have been. I’ve started to look forward to it even more than Revenge and Once Upon a Time. Lucy Hale won Choice TV Actress Drama for her role as Aria Montgomery at the 2014 Teen Choice Awards. Ashley Benson won Choice Summer TV Star Female, which is huge. Right at the beginning of No One Here Can Love or Understand Me; episode eleven of Pretty Little Liars, all the build-up from the previous episode of going to the police to out Alison was immediately thwarted by yet another threat from A.

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Post 240

Posted by azreen | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 12-08-2014

1

I’m deciding between Xiaomi Mi3, Alcatel OneTouch, or a Huawei as a replacement for my phone. Having a permanent call history despite turning off my phone as well as battery life is really important to me. Too bad I have no money. This could be a lesson in replacing things — if i’m not careful, I could end up being replaced. It has certainly been made very clear that what I have to offer really isn’t that much, the tasks I do really aren’t difficult, and that anyone could replace me and do a much better job of everything.

Schedule 12 August 2014

  • 10:00 am              Buy art supplies at big bookshop
  • 10:30 am              Send Adila to proton
  • 12:40 pm              Send Aniza to school
  • 5:00 pm                Fetch Adila from proton
  • 6:30 pm                Fetch Aniza from school
  • 8:00 pm                Send Adila to Yamaha
  • 9:00 pm                Send Ashraf to tuition
  • 9:15pm                  Pick up Adila from Yamaha
  • 10:00pm              Pick up Ashraf from tuition

I found that whenever someone is asking me something, the explanation for it is usually not true. I hate that there are people who look at others not necessarily as human beings, but as stepping stones, or just a means to an end. I realize that as long as I give them what they want – be it a favour, or simply information – it makes no difference to them what they had to say to get it from me. As long as I believe it and comply. It always ends up being my fault for trusting them. Or my fault for doing something because I felt that I had to, or knowing that I didn’t want to do it. That’s not fair. I don’t know who to trust, and how should I know? People see that I can be vulnerable when i’m not with my sisters, and they shouldn’t be taking advantage of that. Going through this my whole life, you would think that i’ve learned my lesson. But a person doesn’t need to be subjected to manipulation that many times in order to condition them into submissive behaviour. If you’re not careful, you’ll become known as easy prey – and frequently targetted because of it.

 

Post 239

Posted by azreen | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 11-08-2014

11

Okay, what i really want to watch is Step Up All In. I mean, omg, i’ve always loved the step-up movies, but I was always too busy to go watch them. And I really want to download Fling – message the world. And I haven’t downloaded we heart it. Or maybe i should replace my phone before doing all this, cause as it stands, i barely have enough data capacity for my existing apps. I can’t wait to renew my MPH card! I don’t know why I never thought of enjoying those privileges earlier. Now that just leaves activating my PLUSMiles card that I bought two years ago but have now fallen into the hands of someone else. If i only knew what to do about that CIMB threat that I got. It really isn’t my fault that my account has been inactive for so long. Sometimes your life just does that to you!

Okay, I was at this open house yesterday. And it didn’t go as well as I hoped. I did not get an indoor seat like I hoped. And there wasn’t enough time to thoroughly enjoy the food, thanks to a certain person who decided to drag everyone home just cause she wanted to take yet another of her naps. I so couldn’t with her for the rest of the day because of what she did, and I learned my lesson of not trusting or going along with people who do not care if you’re there.

 

Post 238

Posted by azreen | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 08-08-2014

18

I really need photoshop. I need it back. I miss the level adjustment panels and sliders.

I forgot the things I used to do for fun. I vaguely remember listening to music. I watched everyone take group photos at the movies, while I missed out on Divergent, Winter Soldier, Spiderman, X-men, Maleficent, Godzilla, and Fault in Our Stars. I even forgot what it was I liked to eat. If i even can eat out anymore, thanks to everyone’s boycott of almost everything.

I have not much to keep me entertained besides overplaying Hilary Duff’s Chasing the Sun. Which is amusing because it sounds exactly like her previous song I Can’t Wait, but other than that is really boring, thanks in part to it being written by Colbie Caillat.

This sunday is Prof Datuk Dr’s open house. Oh dear, what do I wear?

Okay, so MBLAQ is gonna be at Pavillion tomorrow for the K-Festival, but I don’t know if I really wanna go. I only know a few of their songs, and getting to Pavillion and back is a challenge, especially on a weekend.

 

 

Post 237

Posted by azreen | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 06-08-2014

10

Okay so this is my 235th post. Yesteday my uncle, @akah1956 visited, and dropped off a birthday present for me! I can’t believe that after so long, he still remembered, and thought of me. I had to rush off to send Adila for music class 5 minutes later, not that I ever have much to say anyway. Unfortunately, it’s been a pretty rough past year, and although it was really great seeing him, something that nice is sadly not enough to make things any better. So much has happened, and after what i’ve seen I can’t be the same again. I guess people are always going to ask why my gaze seems distant, or why i keep looking away.

 

I think it’s good that I spent new year’s eve and new year’s day alone, because it really puts things into perspective. You should never let someone make you believe that they care about you, you have to decide that for yourself. Don’t expect someone to be there for you just because you were there for them. You must decide what it is you want, and if that isn’t it, then you have to speak up. I should be comfortable enough to trust a person before allowing myself to. I shouldn’t do anything out of obligation. I know what I look for in a person, so I shouldn’t believe someone who tells me that no one will care about me more than they do. I shouldn’t let someone tell me what I am worth. I have to know it myself.

 

Family is important. You read that and hear it a lot. But what you have to pay attention to, is what family means. They may be people who are related to you, but if they don’t care about you or have been there for you, then maybe you need to reconsider who really is important to you.

 

Who knows, someone might be reading my blog. If not, then I guess I was wrong to think that anyone cares about me. I know that i’m going to keep posting blogposts here. Misty has been there for me and hosted my blog all these years, so I know this is something worth keeping, and that she’s someone worth trusting.

 

It’s great to have a relationship with your dad, but if you don’t, that’s okay. You don’t have to seek affirmation and validation about yourself from your dad. Today’s definition of family is very different. Or rather, the state of today’s family is very different. There are a variety of reasons for me not to want to have an ongoing father-son relationship with my dad, and so I don’t need to feel that i’m better than him to not want to spend time with him.