I just feel so sad and exhausted and disappointed and lonely. I miss home so badly. I just want my life back, I just want things to be stable again. I hate being stepped on and humiliated all the time. I wish I could just have some peace of mind and quite time by myself. I have headache and backache almost all the time. The moment I lie down to sleep my neck hurts so bad. I keep eating but I feel like I haven’t eaten in ever. I feel like I have no more tears left. I really wish I had some back up with me right now, I honestly don’t know what else I can do. There’s so much that I have to do but I don’t have the energy. I can’t believe this is what my 200th post is about.
This is my 199th blog post. And it’s the first blog post of the year. I wish this year started off better. It’s supposed to be so much more cheerful. I hate that I let myself feel so empty and worthless today. I missed all those sweet hallmark movies, I missed all those amazing discounts. Everyone attended the year end sale, like full on. Life is short, why do I constantly give my time to people who want me to follow their rules all the time. It’s not your job to fix me, that’s true. I should be able to decide for myself whether or not I need fixing, and I don’t want to be in that position where i’m constantly being judged, not anymore. Happy 2013, to all my blog readers.