What about green? I think it’s the new black, everyone is doing it — AOA, Skarf, Hello Venus. I’m so jealous!! Anyway, happy merdeka to everyone! I think it’s the one holiday over here I can finally find some relief in. Where everyone agrees on it. Right now i’m just at home, wondering where i’d like to go, i had so many things to do on my list, ended up crossing out Loaf, Thai-Thai, Auntie Anne’s, Cinnabon, even Delicious, just out of boredom. I’ve been trying to find my way back to a regular appetite, but nothing seems to do it. I’m either too full or dehydrated. Never quite craving or even eager for a meal. Maybe i’ve just become too picky? Well, I suppose I would want to try Swensens since I haven’t for a long time. And i’ve always wanted to go to Daily Grind. Or Whisk. Oh! I’ve got it! I should go to WIP! Yes, and Marmalade is still a great option too. My, my, so much to do so little time.
Why is everyone in such outrage over the announcement about Hyuna’s october comeback? It’s her job. It’s not like anyone in their right mind would just say, oh I don’t feel like releasing a follow up single, the label had just find some other way to make ends meet. I recognize the quality of music that they produce with her, and although I would have hoped for actual art, i see how their decisions for her career are instead based purely on profit. I love all the girls of 4minute, so when one of them has a solo project i will be happy for her too. Regardless which one of them it is. Regardless, it’s unlikely that the label is going to let her go just because of all the public hatred towards her. In fact, the publicity she garners just encourages the company. I really was looking forward to the yoon subunit but oh well, I don’t mind, and they probably have been working on it anyway.
My parents made a bad decision (as always) by adding two new rooms and a bathroom (when they already have a whole other unused house) and now, commence the arguments with staff and discrepancies between electrical and air conditioning.
Everyone can tell that there’s something bothering me, that I keep looking away, and that before they approach me i seem a lot quieter than I really am, that I always look troubled. My parents on the other hand, feel that I’m way too happy. Especially for their convenience. My sisters went out with my dad today. I went out earlier in the morning. I want to talk to someone who remembers what the last thing we talked about was, who remembers my age, who encourages me to do something when they see that I like it, who asks me where i’m going when they leave me, and doesn’t make me into what they want me to be. I don’t know — I seem to keep asking for pity, but then I turn around and say that I don’t want anyone’s pity. But how can I just depend on myslef? I’m on such thin ice, I feel like i’m waiting for the thing that’s going to collapse me.
The truth is, I couldn’t cope without Paige. That basically encompasses all 165 posts here on this blog. I can’t function, and I don’t want to be around other people with whom I have to start from scratch and explain everything about myself all over. Some people call it dependent personality disorder. I say that they shouldn’t go around diagnosing people when they don’t know what they’re talking about. Everything was so simple in the beginning. I was just this guy who liked to draw, and even had a few short essays that he dreamed could one day constitute a book. I don’t know how everything got so complicated and how it all ended up like this. I don’t know how i’ll ever find my way back.
Mummy asked me which one of the gate remotes are working, and then when I just told her that if the light is on then still can use, she angry. How she expect me to know everything that’s going on at home if I wasn’t even able to live at home everyday anymore?!? She keep asking me all these things as if i’m seriously sitting at home all week doing nothing. If the remote doesn’t work, everyone just asks me instead of realize what they did to it.
I woke up this morning with a really severe headache, and I felt really upset. I thought it was because yesterday Ling Wei suddenly crossed my mind and I felt humiliated by what she said about me. But I think it’s just that time of year. Interested? Read the rest by clicking below.
I have so many thoughts running through my head all the time, but I appear so vacant to everyone. But some people are able to pick up on how i’m preoccupied by something. Too bad it isn’t just one thing.
It’s that time of year again. Soon, i’ll meet so many relatives, and i’ll have to explain to them yet again that i’m here, unemployed, and not overseas like their children. It’s my first Raya without my oldest sister, so I expect i’d be really upset that day. When I woke up this morning I felt my heart beating so fast, it was almost blaring in my ears. I don’t know if it’s that usual thing that happens to me when Raya approaches — I somehow have less appetite and eat in such a reluctant way. I managed to finish my food last night and this morning, but I was surprised by how quickly I felt full. I wasn’t satisfied and wanted to eat more, taste more things, but I was already at my limit, how disappointing. I feel like lately everything bad that could happen did. I haven’t explained here about this girl who told all her friends that I was the one who sent her a hate mail. I don’t even understand why I came under fire for that cause she and I talked a lot, and I thought she knew me. Yesterday I could barely get up, I was in so much pain. I think if i’m not careful I might end up a lot worse, but I feel like taking care of myself at this point is taking so much effort.