Post 110

Posted by azreen | Posted in Photos | Posted on 29-07-2011

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Bubble Bubble Pop Pop

Post 109

Posted by azreen | Posted in Photos | Posted on 28-07-2011

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Post 108

Posted by azreen | Posted in Photos | Posted on 23-07-2011

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Post 107

Posted by azreen | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 21-07-2011

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Ashley Benson was on Jimmy Kimmel last night, and she looked gorgeous as always. She talked about being a Lakers fan, and about how she’s dating JB’s swag-coach. Brendan Robinson says that Ashley’s really funny and is the official prankster on set. She’s just a beautiful charismatic girl who loves to have fun. She’s just amazing!

I was disappointed though, cause I was hoping that there would be spoilers about the show.

Tyler Blackburn is also really great. He was very wholehearted about abcfamily’s Delete Digital Drama — he asked friends and fans to pick up the issue of seventeen read the article and tweet a what they’ll do to stop cyber bullying. Emily Osment was so gorgeous in Cyberbully, and she sounded amazing in her live performance at the rally.

This blog entry turned out to be all about abcfamily omg.

Post 106

Posted by azreen | Posted in Photos | Posted on 17-07-2011

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Post 105

Posted by azreen | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 16-07-2011

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My whole life people have been telling me that I should do what I want, and not what people tell me to do. The reason they tell me that, obviously is because they want me to choose my own path in life, and find something that makes me happy.

But, doing something for the right reasons also means that you should do what you want, not what will specifically make people angry. I don’t play with hearts, I don’t toy with people’s feelings. I have my own feelings and problems. So why do I feel like everyone is constantly making it about them, as if i’m purposely setting out to make things difficult for them?

As most of you would have realized by now, or should have, i’m talking about my dad. I think that he’s evil. You can like him all you want, I don’t care, i’m just saying that I think he’s evil. Some people even say that he’s gregarious and easygoing. What on earth? Today at dinner, he kept making really cheap and annoying jokes like ‘why is 6 afraid of7’ and ‘what starts and ends with T and has T in it’. I hate elementary school, I don’t want to go back there, and yet he keeps badgering us with all of these lame jokes that no one even responds to. I’ve never met someone so desperate for attention in my life. It’s so nauseating when you keep hearing the blare of some disgusting voice that you don’t want to hear. And what’s worse, I have to look at his face. Gross! You people can keep telling me that he’s just a normal-looking human being I don’t care, I hate looking at him! And he totally stinks up the whole house!

I actually wanted to talk about shopping, cause for a while I kept insisting to myself that I shouldn’t buy myself anymore new clothes, so that way when I spend too much on expensive food it isn’t that bad. Since I can rationalize that I eat food anyway, so it’s a good way to justify what I spend. But i’m so jealous of how everyone’s enjoying the sales! I really really want to have new clothes, but I hate fashion cause fashion made my life miserable. When I was younger and was able to know myself and be sure of myself, I thought that I was free from ever doubting myself again, but then I lost everything I liked about myself and was no longer able to recognize that person staring back in the mirror. Now I really have no idea what I do and don’t like to wear, and  i’m always feeling unsure. I have no confidence to wear anything. And I keep thinking everything I have isn’t nice enough. And I keep wearing formulaic t-shirts and jeans.

Once upon a time I was an individual who was strong in my opinions and beliefs. I was a creative and passionate person. Now, I just wish I could be. I don’t know what changed, but I just don’t have any inspiration for anything. Doing creative stuff always made me happy, but now I feel like i’m just out of ideas. I used to say all this weird boastful stuff like ‘graphic design is my hobby’. But now I feel self-conscious about everything about me, and i just can’t commit myself to even attempting to make any kind of ‘design’ because I don’t have the strong convictions to back it up with. Everyone has Illustrator now, and they even use tablets. I can’t even vector stuff, and everyone has made their own like brush sets and patterns and stuff. I don’t even know how it all works now. Everything’s like so different from when I was ‘designing’ back in the day. How could I even call it designing? How deluded was I to think that just putting some stuff together made me like an artist of some sort. I was so happy when I was at Hakunetsu.Org I wish I could go back to that. I’m so old now. I mean, you only want hot young things with new ideas and a fresher take on things. That’s basically my problem right now with any kind of art. Can you teach an old dog new tricks? I just feel like, what else did I ever enjoy doing? Maybe I could try this again just to see if I enjoy it, I don’t necessarily have to be super proud of it, but what’s the point if it makes me feel disappointed with myself.

Post 104

Posted by azreen | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 15-07-2011

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Demi Lovato -- Skyscraper

I can’t believe how much I like watching Audrina! I absolutely love Casey Patridge, and how she’s able to handle her mom so gracefully. When I saw Casey having dinner with her mom and her sister, and her mom was scolding her for not ordering something healthy, I was so stunned! She had to whisper to the waiter what her order was cause her mom kept shouting at her not to eat dessert only. That’s exactly the same thing I do when I’m out with my family! However, Casey is happily married to Kyle. I get so jealous watching the two of them cause they’re so happy and madly in love with each other. And Kyle is always so supportive of her and never says anything mean to Lynn even when she’s behaving psycho-ish.

My friends are always advising me, and helping me in my effort to be more frugal. I’m not sure that’s the word. It would’ve been a lot harder if I had to do it all by myself. I feel like i’m constantly looking to other people to know what’s normal and how my life is supposed to turn out, cause everything about me is so dysfunctional. My point is, i’d rather be around people who give me helpful advice, rather than just throw their dissatisfaction in my face, and make me feel like i’m not and never will be able to be more frugal because i’m incompetent and weak as a human being.

All those people in relationships, why do you guys have to work so hard? Shouldn’t your spouse be the easiest person in the world to talk to? It just really makes me wonder how these people are able to keep their relationships intact, especially those kids who suffer so much pressure from parents who like to manipulate their feelings, make them feel guilty for everything, and control them so that they will give everything they have to their parents. It’s these kids who are starved for real love and search endlessly to fill that void in their life. They just end up emotionally dead, and a shell of a human being.

Once, I told myself that I shouldn’t watch shows with child actors, because a lot of parents push their kids into show business because they want their kids to make them a lot of money. Sure, the kids enjoy their job, but ultimately they miss out on their own childhood and their own lives. Once you’re older and not so cute anymore, you’re just going to get fired — kids or tween shows don’t go on forever, and then when all you’ve only ever known is acting, what else could you possibly be left with? Why would anyone consider a former child actor for serious adult roles? It’s a really tough business, but evidently, these parents are able to peddle that they’re doing the best for their kids. They’re clearly using their kids, controlling them, and probably don’t even tell them that they love them. Then the kids feel like they have no one to turn to, because they face the pressure of having to support their parents and they don’t want to disappoint their parents who supposedly love them so damn much.

Your parents should be the easiest people in the world for you to bond with. Clearly, there are so many parents who should get themselves professional help. If not, they just end up causing those same problems and worse to their kids, from having to grow up around their issues and conflicts. Do parents ever even realize how much is at stake? Being the only people that your child can rely on for anything, they keep making their kids feel like their disappointing their parents. I think it’s actually the other way around. There’re plenty of kids who have been raised from a young age by step-parents. With such a high divorce rate, clearly blood relations isn’t the most important thing anymore. If you want your kids to be there and take care of you when you’re old, it’s recommendable that you be there for them since the start to raise them and support them and encourage them. After all, i thought that that’s how you build a relationship.

Post 103

Posted by azreen | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 14-07-2011

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I think it’s acceptable for me to say that whoever doesn’t read my blog clearly doesn’t care about me at all. People all around me go on facebook for hours everyday, so they clearly have the time to type in my URL in their web browser and look at a sentence or two from the most recent post. This is aside from commenting. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to say that anyone who wants to know what’s going on in my life should have read my blog. It’s not like i’m asking that you read every single post in it. This is actually making it easier for you to know about what’s going on in my life, so why on earth would you skip it? Reading my blog can tell you exactly what i’m thinking about before I even tell you. That’s how useful it can be for you.

There’s so much dead air in conversations that I have with people. That’s the perfect time for them to bring up my blog and ask me about the post that they read. I’m glad to tell you about it so that you don’t have to read the entire entry. But do they? No they never do!!

I’m sure most of you realise by now that i’m talking about my family. Who is most of you anyway? Who am I talking to? Cause clearly no one ever reads this blog, you can clearly see how evident it is from the number of comments.

Is it still irrational for me to hate facebook? Mom? I know that I sound crazy for wanting this kind of attention, but it’s only from the people who supposedly care so much about me. My goodness, on facebook your kids can easily conceal something from being viewable by your account. It’s that easy. But my blog that’s open to everyone on the planet who knows the URL, that’s the one you don’t want to visit? It’s just typing in a URL and reading a few sentences. Reading. Once upon a time people would read books, and then people read articles online, and now people just poke each other on facebook and play angry birds. This really isn’t that new and complicated.

Not only am I hearing my thoughts, i’m reading them, and I know how they sound. This is not the kind of person that I wanted to be. And I never expected for these people to not read my blog!

Post 102

Posted by azreen | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 13-07-2011

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Oh my. I can’t believe puasa is next month. So fast. I’m so scared. I don’t have any baju raya yet. Neither do my siblings. What will we all wear? I don’t want to bake cookies. What is and isn’t acceptable is so arbitrary.

Here is why I am unable to be a good, reliable and helpful friend. It’s because I have never seen my parents genuinely like being around each other, so I have never had a good relationship to model after. Sure, my sister and I are good friends, but she is after all my sister. How do I approach someone and talk to them for the first time, if my sister was there my whole life and knows everything about me? I depend on my sisters so much because i’m unable to confront my own fears and insecurities. So how am I supposed to help someone else through them? I don’t think it’s my fault that i’m unable to have a healthy friendship with anyone, and i don’t think it’s fair that i’m in this situation. I really do want a bestfriend, but if I hardly see myself as worth caring about, how am I going to care about someone else? I see my parents make sacrifices for me. But sure, they make sacrifices for my sisters. I really don’t have anything to offer that sets me apart from them, or even matches me with them. I’m just tagging along with them. How will I ever accomplish something that will make me worthwhile as a human being? I wish I could be someone who is worth the time of day to someone.

Is it really abuse if my dad had a reason for it? All over the country parents physically punish their kids for bad results. It’s nothing new. I provoked my dad and that’s what makes him angry all the time. But we’re never able to work through any of it. And everyone else suffers because of it too. I’m not trying to burden my family. Neither of us know exactly where the problem lies. I don’t want to be bitter about my dad forever. I don’t expect any apologies from him. We were supposed to talk about our problems with each other a long time ago. But until now, my dad doesn’t want to talk about it to anyone, and insists that i’m inconveniencing him without reason. I’ve listened to him throw his dissatisfactions with me in my face for years, but he doesn’t actually talk about it properly. My sister says it’s not worth it to cry over this, and especially not because of him. I sometimes think that it’s not worth it to even try to accept him as my father, but I know that my dad isn’t going to feel better about this unless he talks about it with me. Even if he has my mom all to himself, it’s still not going to make him happy and that’s not just because her heart is somewhere else. There’s no point in him making everything about him if he doesn’t even confront how he really feels about this and what the source of it all really is. If I died before him, he won’t have the satisfaction of having confronted me about any of his issues with me first. It’s not about pointing out the other person’s mistakes, it’s about being honest about your feelings and identifying what it really is that’s hurting you, and what you really want in life.

My mom and sister have been telling me that I should get professional help. But therapy isn’t just talking to someone. I don’t even know what I should talk to a therapist about anyway. I should want to do it for my own reasons, not because people tell me to, because otherwise it’s just not going to work.

 

Post 101

Posted by azreen | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 12-07-2011

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Okay. I think that my main problem is, that for a few months now, i’ve been having problems focusing. On anything. My mind just can’t concentrate on what’s happening in front of me. I’m always preoccupied with something, but i’m not sure what it is. My memory is getting worse, and I keep forgetting where I put my stuff. People even ask me if i’m still listening. A lot of people have noticed how vacant I can be. I think my mind is. Most of the time. I always feel tired.

I really think the best thing for me right now is to just be in a clean, spacious room, by myself, where I can sit down to a meal quietly. I just need a peaceful environment. But not just an intermittent quiet 5 minutes at home. I need to feel what it’s like to live in a place where it’s calm and without lots of people. I know that people say that I always complain about having no company and no one likes to come near me cause they’re so disgusted by me and that I always say that I have no one t0 talk to. But if i’m going to be without anyone, it might as well be in a quiet environment. There’s no point hanging around some people hoping one of them will suddenly magically change into a sincere person and care about me. I shouldn’t waste my time or anyone else’s.

I think that’s what my younger siblings have been deprived of for so long. All anyone deserves is their own space to do their homework, but my younger siblings don’t even have their own desks, much less a quiet space for them to study. Sure they can seem happy with their lives in front of my relatives and other people, but the reality is there in those few marks they miss out on. I feel really bad that they’re all cramped in one house. At least my younger brother has his own room now.

Tv has for so long been used as a substitute for family activities, and it’s really sad. I feel especially guilty that i’m the one watching Brothers and Sisters and everything else.

Anyway, how will anything ever change? It’s all too much and too hard, and I don’t think I can do it myself.

Post 100

Posted by azreen | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 11-07-2011

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I watched Date Night and it was so funny! Omg, it was so exciting too! Leighton Meester was gorgeous and exquisite as the babysitter, of course. They’re such a cute couple I wish I could be like them. I almost cried cause it was so sweet and touching. I was feeling more teary at Casey’s speech for Audrina’s parents’ wedding anniversary. I say that like I actually attended the party. It’s actually funny. Anyway, the whole thing is so crazy I would hate for it to happen to a real couple.

When I watched Audrina, I learned that in a  dinner party, it’s etiquette for you to sit not next to the person you came with. So this is for all you couples at parties — stop showing off how deeply madly and passionately in honeymoon you are and start interacting with the real world.  Apparently, separating from the person you came with will help you to talk to everyone else better.

I love my beautiful black hair. I hate having black hair. It’s not actually that contradicting. My black hair is indeed gorgeous and I love it, i’m sure all of you think so too. Unfortunately, having black hair tends to be super boring cause everyone else has chestnut, auburn, or gold hair. Not only that, but their dye jobs look really expensive. So everyone walks up to me surprised that i’m 21 and not in school anymore. My main issue is, that I hate when people are condescending towards me simply because of my appearance, in that they think that I so need their approval of me, like I don’t know anything about people. Cause I look so tame and schooly. For a while, these younger kids treated me like I was some desperate fan of their clique who so wanted to be an insider. They bossed me around and thought that it was such an honour for me to be even considered to attend their social events. These are exactly the type of people I loathe. So, it’s not really about me wanting to dye my hair — I actually have to dye my hair. Cause that’s the only thing that I can do that these ‘socialites’ can’t. Cause they’re still in school! This is my life now, having school kids look down on me just cause they’re so obsessed with themselves and with how popular they are. I’ve never seen people more in love with themselves. And partly for this reason, I also hate short hair! My hair is short now, I have no idea why I had it cut. Wait, I think it was getting a bit hot. Or something. I guess I was a bit influenced by Jessica Stroup. I don’t really mind how my short hair looks on me, it’s just that short hair isn’t really worth dyeing. Oh well. I’m not gonna be dyeing my hair anytime soon anyway, what with raya coming up and me not wanting the extended family to look disapprovingly at me. Unlike these condescending younger socialites, I actually think about my family. Which for them is something not to even be mentioned cause it’s ‘not cool’, unless you have a relative in show business.

Okay, for about 2 years now, my third molar on each side have been coming in. Or out. I don’t know what the correct phrase is. Anyway, it’s been causing like pain, ulcers and fevers now and again, but i just kept putting it off. Even though they’re not entirely erupted, they’re very visible and the whole surface is exposed beyond the gum line. My already big mouth is really crowded with teeth. I thought I had four molars extracted for my braces. I remember being there and she was pulling them out. How am I still with too many teeth? Anyway, i’m too scared to get my third molar extraction because I don’t think it’s erupted enough for a pair of forceps to get a good grip on it. I don’t want any surgical incisions, just a simple extraction under local anaesthetic. But even then, i’m still scared.

Yesterday I went to Empire with my family and we ate at Madam Kwan’s for dinner! No pictures, sorry, was too busy eating to take any. Anyway, I ran into sarah and we had to immediately go home because it was my younger sister’s music exam the following day.

Well, this is it! My 100th post on my new blog platform. I can’t believe that i only got this far after one year. Speaking of my blog, once upon a time I had my website hosted at netfirms.com, and now they’re abolishing free accounts, so everyone is moving right along.

I have no idea what it was that I used to do that was so much fun. I don’t want to just watch Audrina, it’s not fun enough. I need to figure out what it is I like to do, cause I feel like i’m surrounded by things that I really don’t like. Actually, not physically surrounded by them, I just keep hearing about things that I hate. Like hip hop, gordon ramsey, and other reality show judges.

Post 99

Posted by azreen | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 10-07-2011

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Okay, I completely failed to get passes at the WorldStage Roadshow. I had no idea what was going on, and even if I did get picked to get up on the stage, I wouldn’t have known the answers to the questions. We got to watch An Honest Mistake perform, and they were really good. I was so scared, cause everything was happening really fast, and all the other fans that were there were really hardcore. It’s so intimidating. Utt really kept helping the contestants with the answers, and then VJ Holly was like ‘ really? not brown instead?”. Jin was really funny! Gosh throughout the whole thing my heart was beating so fast, I was so nervous even though I wasn’t even up on stage. It was so much fun but I didn’t get any tickets! Maybe it wasn’t meant to be? No, if I wanted it enough, they would see it and ask me to get on stage and do the QandA. Wow! I can’t believe I was standing so close to so many celebs! Yea, I must’ve been so starstruck that I couldn’t function. But sometimes I get like that around other people too.

Today I want to talk about a certain thing that happened to me when I was in highschool. This girl came to my house. She ordered pizza. Then she wanted to wash her hands. They left the faucet running. Her friend suggested that they clean up after themselves. She spurned the idea, and said that i’m here to clean everything up. This story sounds crazy and hard to believe. But that’s exactly what happened. I never imagined myself being jealous of someone like that six years later, yet here I am. I don’t like being treated like the help, but people think that just because i don’t have any plans with anyone, i’m always available to do their bidding.

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Post 98

Posted by azreen | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 09-07-2011

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I really want to go Curve tomorrow, but what if there’s roadblocks because of that Bersih rally?

So Bristol Palin was on the View promoting her memoir, ‘Not Afraid of My Life: My Journey so Far’. Hearing about whatever kind of relationship she had with Levi is so agonizing. How could she possibly be willing to drag out such a humiliating life experience just to get money and fame? Barbara Walters asked some pretty harsh questions, but apparently it was all to be taken lightly. What Bristol did was wrong, but how she was questioned about it wasn’t right either. I don’t think she actually confronted any real issues in her appearance. She seriously just wanted to show her face and get people to buy her book. I would have hoped she would say her piece and provide some new perspective to the girls on the show. After it was done, she left, and they think exactly the same of her and her situation. Worse in fact.

Speaking of single parents, Nadya Suleman was on The Today Show. So she said that she’s not getting paid for doing interviews. But when asked how she’s supporting her kids, she says she hired a manager and has been booked for appearances. So apparently people are supposed to let her live her life since she’s not getting public assistance money. The cast ended up having to help her with her kids. Jonathan is doing a minor surgery for his cleft lip tomorrow. She really makes herself seem committed to her kids. I wonder if she is.

And then there’s the Casey Anthony trial. And Kim K under fire for her tweets about it. If I lived in the US would I really be able to get away with murder? But right here at home there’re people who’ve got away with it too apparently.

Anyway, for my favourite and adorable special readers, I placed a treat for you in the full post. Simply click read more of you want to see it, hope you like it.

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Post 97

Posted by azreen | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 08-07-2011

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Emma Watson looks amazing in that Oscar de la Renta! Tulle is indeed tricky, but the silhouette here is great. The vintage Rafael Lopez for the London photocall looked stunning too.

Heidi was on ENews! I feel so sad about how she has to put on how happy she is with her marriage. I actually always liked her music. I can’t believe Jake Pavelka is also on VH1’s Famous Food. He’s so gross.

Today’s open day was really scary. Stepping into that compound/building was really nerve-wracking, but I felt a little better about it compared to last time. Pn Zuliana recognised me, and I said hi, she actually was talking to me, but she herself was in the middle of escorting a parent. Once again, all the teachers advise that the kids should work harder. If only it were that simple.

Okay, I finished watching United States of Tara, and it was so touching and heartfelt and sweet. I didn’t cry cause it all happened so fast. Kate made so much progress, and I feel so amazed at how mature she’s become. I always loved how headstrong and opinionated she is.

Why is everyone talking about Will & Kate at the BAFTAs? Elegance came back a long time ago, we didn’t need this recessionista’s incessant rewearing to do it. And what’s worse, Oprah is competing with The View to get Pippa?!? Well at least she’s pretty and can actually talk about stuff.

Post 96

Posted by azreen | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 06-07-2011

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Okay, PDRM roadblocks everywhere. Cause of the Bersih campaign thingy? I’m confused. Apparently it’s expected to go on till next week? cause there’s concern for public safety? And there’s a rally of some sort? I just know that everyone’s having trouble getting to work today, like with the three-laner at Segi converted to one lane. The jam is pretty severe, lotsa angry people. Everyone is not happy that the popos are doing roadblocks but they haven’t caught the acid splasher. Someone please explain to me!

Oh my my. Already at post 96. Soon i’ll hit the 100 mark. It doesn’t feel as special as I thought it would be. I don’t want to be like this. Old, scared, clinging to a life that no longer exists.

I’ve been struggling for so long trying to figure out if I want to be myself or like everyone else. Both aren’t much fun. If I try to act and charade my way through life, would there be any point in living? When people talk to me and expect cookie-cutter appropriate reactions, am I wasting my time mimicking social norms rather than making an emotional connection with someone? Does this even make sense?

A lot of people don’t understand the difference between caring and caretaking. Honestly, I’m not so sure myself. I do know that if you care, you’ll be there for someone when they get hurt. If you’re a caretaker to someone, you’re coddling them when they don’t need you to. As children, we often see these two roles so closely blended which isn’t a surprise as most relationships modelled to us are far more complicated than they should be. A lot of kids have their heads filled with ideas that they have the ability to hold people together or break them apart, namely their parents. These expectations are too high even for young adults. No one should have to shoulder that much responsibility for other people’s relationships. That’s what a caretaker is. It’s all very puzzling to me.

Is my life just intervals of stability? All this time have I just kept doing the same thing and hoping for a different result? I honestly don’t know how i’ll cope with more difficult things that adults face when I can’t even muster the courage to confront the real issues that I have now.

Post 95

Posted by azreen | Posted in Birthday Presents | Posted on 05-07-2011

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I should’ve bought macaroons when I had the chance. I’m so sad, I miss those days when I would to go to like Gloria Jeans just for tea and cake. I can’t remember what it’s like to eat an eclair or even trifle. I really wish I could eat pie. Just the other day I drank coke, but it feels like i’ve been trying to cut down caffeine for months.

As you should have noticed, had you visited my blog, I am now using imgur rather than yfrog for uploading images. Even then, I still have problems. And then there’s the question of the photo itself. I will try not to take such bad photos, but I won’t promise anything.

A bad photo, but a photo nonetheless.

Okay, for this post I particularly wanted to talk about Tori and Jade. As most of you would have noticed, they really are quite similar. More alike than Tori and Trina should logically be. Jade had good reason to tell off Tori for rubbing her boyfriend. After all, Beck himself said that she’s probably making it worse. The perennial problem with whiny and wingy Tori is that getting into Hollywood Arts in the first place wasn’t even something she was looking for. It was handed to her. And while she’s complaining about everyone being so much more artsy and creative than she is — or rather everyone actually being artsy and creative compared to her, the real problem is that those kids worked to get to where they are, and she on the other hand never knew how to put any effort into even her day to day charades of trying to be likable at school. Of course, everyone didn’t think that Tori was this problematic, and hence only a true visionary, a genius would be able to see what Tori really is. And treat her how she actually deserves to be treated. Tori and Jade do eventually get along, but Jade is probably the only one who knows how much Tori is actually capable of, and how little drive she has to achieve it. I suppose one big difference between Tori and Jade is that Jade actually knows what she wants in life.

Post 94

Posted by azreen | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 03-07-2011

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I should not be watching reality shows.

There are many reasons that they’re terrible. Mainly, they market themselves as opportunities for people to make big achievements. They go so far as to say that they could change people’s lives. Especially shows like Idol and ANTM, audition thousands and thousands of contestants. These are huge, heavily backed projects with plenty of means. However, they spend a lot of time talking up contestants who do very well on the show, and contestants who are anything less are continuously insulted under the guise of giving constructive criticism. A show that claims to give opportunities and help people actually just gathers people together and puts them in front of a huge audience to be humiliated. Most of the idol contestants are trained singers. The logical next step for these people are to keep doing shows, and eventually sign with an independent label. Yes, the prize is an extravagant recording contract, but the show is the only place where people who have no other means of being singers get a chance. People who couldn’t afford vocal training and can’t catch a break. Even if you want to take on contestants who’re already good, then at least provide skill development for the other contestants who made it through. Instead of rewarding people who already have great skills, how about give something to the single moms, the handicapped, orphans, or those with precarious livelihood.

On ANTM, you see all these girls just holed up together in this house. They keep someone who’ll provoke the other girls to keep the ratings up, and then when someone doesn’t win a challenge, instead of cultivating improvement, they’re either punished or just sent to their rooms where they won’t be improving.

I understand that it’s a competition, but if you’re not going to give them anything, why drag it out for so long? You can just have everyone compete for a day and pick one winner. Clearly the judges are doing a bad job for not being able to spot the best from early on. They make such a big fuss about how hard it is for them to decide, but when someone doesn’t do well they’re not shy about criticizing.

Especially in Hell’s Kitchen, Gordon encourages in-fighting and keeps putting all the blame on one person for the whole dinner service. And he likes to shout at one person in front of everyone, humiliating them. And people keep watching cause it’s all so shocking. And in MasterChef, the judges shamelessly eat so much of each dish. They can easily have their meal at work, and yet they look with disgust when something tastes less then amazing.

Contestants do get publicity, but it only goes so far. It’s not much especially when you compare it with how much the judges get paid. I realise that if I don’t like it, I can get a more wholesome perspective of reality by watching a documentary. It’s a shame, that’s all. Instead of simply being survival of the toughest, it’s influenced so heavily by ratings and overproduction.

Post 93

Posted by azreen | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 02-07-2011

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I absolutely hate Pappa Johns! I hate it so much I want to burn down each branch! They’re so irritating! Do people even like pizza that much anyway?!?

 

So Mizz Nina tied the knot with Noh yesterday. Meh.  An almost ten grand Michael Ong, a Shangri-La reception, and another reception at DoubleTree by Hilton. All the elitist and egotistical makings of a humble and down-to-earth wholesome newlywed couple. Of course, they need a two-week honeymoon in rome to take a break from their exhausting and taxing careers. They’ve been working so hard, that’s why we’re always hearing their songs and know who the hell they are. Wait, the dowry was only 11 grand? Only 150 guests? I mean, I thought this is a wedding combined with a birthday party.

Post 92

Posted by azreen | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 01-07-2011

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I would have thought Joe Jonas would want lots of wardrobe changes and vanity shots in See No More. The video is an incoherent mess. And don’t get me started about the actual single. Why on earth does it open with rap? The single is called See No More, but what he’s been doing no more of is shaving. So much autotune! Shame!

 

Kate looks amazing in that Jenny Packham! But I still prefer Leighton Meester. Apart from her wide array of hats, does Pippa’s weird sister really have so much to offer? Her husband is balding after all.Why does everyone keep saying that she’s beautiful? Her forehead is big, her shoulders are broad, and her lips are thin. She’s kind of man-ish. Leighton looks so pretty in that Carven. She’s so beautiful. Much more beautiful. She so should have won that round of _____ Stole My Look.

 

Why is Jennifer Hudson on the cover of Elle?!? Why is everyone shedding the pounds and becoming so fit?!? I hate her! I admit that I haven’t been taking care of myself, but it’s hard. I really struggle with trying to have a healthy lifestyle. So far i’ve been able to wake up early, and i’ve been drinking lots of water. I don’t think it’s fair that i’m expected to exercise so much because this is all new to me, and it’s not like I have a gym buddy or something. Today I am 51kg. It’s been really busy. I think the most important step is to have some peace and calmness, some time by myself. It’s always so hectic here. It’s crazy.