December 2010

Post 60

It's that time of year again. I wish I could've gone and enjoyed the sales. Everything looked so beautiful I can't believe i'm missing it all. Here I am again, trapped in a room by my own fear of leaving the house. My face used to be so neat and organised. Now my cheeks are where my chin used to be, and my chin is all down to my neck, it's all just a big mess. Now anyone only ever looks at me cause I forgot to turn off my headlights. I'm really not ready to start a new year, everything that I tried to do I haven't got there yet. The house is a mess! So much to throw out and recycle. My whole room arrangement hasn't been settled. I really don't know how I'm going to survive next year, I haven't planned anything, and I don't know how i'm going to organize it. Another year alone. I thought I could make things different. I thought I would be able to prepare. No point trying to tidy up my house if my whole life was a mess in the first place.

Post 59

I feel like there're so many people around me and in the world who don't realise that they can actually hold me back. From a lot of things. Okay, I don't want to write a post all about my dad. That's theĀ oppositeĀ of what you would want. That's what everyone always ever looks for. The right people. The people who will trigger a more positive, creative, and driven side of you. The people who want to hear about your life, want to know about your feelings. You can be that person for someone else, but you need to find yourself first. I know that there are many mistakes that I made, at the same time there're many things that I shouldn't have shied away from trying. I haven't had as many experiences in my life as someone normally would, but that doesn't mean I can't offer a fresh perspective on something. There's still a lot I have yet to learn, this is a very vulnerable stage in my life, and i'm still struggling a lot. I've never worked, I've never had a lot of friends that I can fill a whole hall for a party, I have a lot of flaws. I need time to work on myself, and I really don't appreciate certain superficial people who keep dragging me into glamour-quests and throwing their dissatisfactions in my face. Read More »Post 59

Post 58

I want to write a story about a woman who frees herself from a tragic loveless abusive marriage. Maybe there can be a twist where the husband runs away instead. Or maybe one of the kids kill the guy. No, that's no good. There's no unifi! This is such torture. I have so many things that i'm wondering about, and I need to google it to get the answer. Luckily we still have the old streamyx line.

Post 57

SPM is going to finish soon! I can't wait for the opportunity to see Melissa Kyra Keesha Adam. I hope I get to meet them soon, I haven't gone to see them for so long. Omf! There're so many camwhorey pics of me! Available on the internet! I can't believe i'm just putting it up on this blog for the whole world to see! What has become of me!?!Read More »Post 57