November 2010

Post 56

Everyone else my age and younger only use Vaio and Toshiba. Obviously, if I proudly carry my Dell around I look stupid lah, for thinking it's so amazing and awesome. I'm jealous! This is what happens when you have a laptop or washing machine or fridge or anything. You start wanting a better one. I hate this, make it stop!

Post 55


Post 54

Ever since I was young everyone always told me to just be a follower. They said that I should accept that people will always like that girl better, and that rather than have no friends, I should just like her too. Forget that I think she's plastic and superficial, hedonistic and likes attention. Just try to like her because otherwise i'm not socially acceptable. She's the queen bee whether I like it or not, so rather than retaliate, I should join the worship. I don't want a queen bee. I just want to be myself, I just want to hang out with people who're sincere. Unfortunately that leaves me with no one, cause everyone feels it's more fun under her reign. Of terror. And then everyone thinks that i'm discriminating, or that i'm jealous. When all I wanted to do was look for real friends. Tell me that I don't deserve any, I've heard that millions of times. If any one of you ever decide to care about me, sincerely, then you know where to find me -- alone.

Post 53

I made a really bad decision today. I feel so stupid, and I wish I could have made better judgement. I drove home during peak hour. While it was raining. Oh well, I learnt my lesson, and I always have the freedom to come home whenever I want, I think, so I don't think I'll let it happen again. I'm not sure which one is safer though, driving home through lots of traffic to accompany me, and move slowly to, or drive home without traffic at night. Also, importantly, I finally changed my shampoo! I'm so happy! It's so exhilarating, and i'm so thankful to my mom, cause she paid for the shampoo. Now my hair is as it should be. Until the next time my hair gets used to the shampoo again. It usually doesn't happen earlier than 5 months or so. I guess i've been running around a lot lately, exposing my scalp to lots of pollutants and environmental dirt. And various kinds of air-borne dander. Eww. You'd think that standing under the shade of a tree you'd be relatively care-free. New shampoo, I know, is not an answer to everything, it doesn't solve everything, and doesn't wash away all problems. But it does motivate me and keep me perky to go about with my daily activities. After a week of waking up at 8am everyday, today I woke up at 6am. Not early enough! This is part of the reason I so badly wanted something to perk me up. Last week was a terrible week of suffering from caffeine withdrawal. Last two weeks in fact. Bad migraines. Just form soft drinks! Those close to me would know how much Coke I drink. I know, it's bad for me. See me smile and my stained teeth show plain evidence of my excessive soft drink consumption, but I haven't had anymore Coke. For a few days now. I really think that the power steering in the car is not working anymore. Especially after how my mom commented that it felt heavier. It gave me muscle ache the whole of last week. Like my right arm felt super tired. But later my mom took back what she said, rationalizing that power steering only works when the car is moving, so obviously when she wanted to reverse out of the parking spot it would feel a bit heavy. And she also scolded me for saying that driving would make my arm tired, since she said that I don't have to make many turns anyway. After all, someone unemployed like me wouldn't have so many important places to be. I know, I know, i'm severely unfit. Oh god, what a start to a week.