There’s so much more to being a nice person than just saying a few nice things and smiling a lot. I know that there’s still a lot for me to learn about life. People tell me to shut up all the time and I just shut up. There’s a lot I have to take from older people. But I have to just take it. It’s not my choice. Sometimes my siblings will scold me for stuff and I don’t like it, but i’m supposed to just take it, and be rational.
I’m not going to judge a person by their first impression. I know what my intentions are, so I’m not going to toy with people’s feelings and make them feel alienated from their own friends. If i’m in my house with my friends, sure, I behave however I want. But, around other people, obviously I can’t because I don’t know them that well. And it’s that simple. But, I can get to know them and eventually be as comfortable around them. It’s time that I would have to be willing to take. Effort that I have to be willing to put in. It’s true that I choose my friends. But if I like to be around lots of people and subject myself, then that’s not the case anymore.
I feel that being superficial isn’t just about looks and glamor. You can tell someone’s motivation by the way they behave. There’re people who’re sincere, and there’re people who just want to be there for the happy moments. When you’ve been hit bad and don’t know what to do and don’t know what to expect, you need someone to who’ll take control of the situation for you, and make all the necessary calls and negotiations that you’re in no condition to handle yourself. Where are your hundreds of facebook friends then? I don’t know what it is about some people and getting so much attention. It’s a really strange twisted narcissism. I guess this is what blogging is. It’s funny — i tried so much to separate those I hate, but i might possibly be exactly that.
You can’t walk through life just being a socialite. Knowing people and attending parties doesn’t actually mean you have a real friendship with them. When you start anywhere you want to embrace the people around you. You try to take what you can from what they do, learn from it, and try it yourself. If you look at any successful woman you’ll surely see that she didn’t operate just within her job description in order to be promoted to such a high position. She obviously had to go above and beyond. Don’t come to me throwing around names of people you know. It’s not like you actually ever did anything for them. I don’t care how many people you know, or how famous you are, I just want to know what you’re trying to represent with all this behavior. It’s ridiculous to watch a girl receive so much recognition and attention because of her existing fame and social status. There are work horses and show ponies. There are top ten percenters: the top 10% that end up doing 90% of the work and outperforming 90% of their peers. You don’t necessarily need to be the smartest or have the best connections to be in this category, to be in this category you need to go above and beyond.When you start out anywhere you have a rare opportunity to work closely with people who are extremely knowledgeable, hard working, and experienced and instead of using that to her advantage and learning from it she’s choosing to stick her nose in the air. At the end of the day if you do well, it’s going to benefit the people you represent. Honestly, I would never wish for anyone to come back and fail, because that’s, one, more work for everyone else, and, two, it doesn’t make you look great and that reflects on everybody.You don’t get places by JUST doing your job, you get places by building relationships and working above the job description. “I’m not here for that, I’m just here for this,”. Well, you’re here now. Is it my fault that you’re here? It’s not my problem if you can’t handle it here, everyone else has enough to do already without having to hold your hand. Everyone else worked up the ranks; likely from producing exceptional work–not skating by with mediocre work. “So what if I didn’t show up, everyone else skipped out the whole week,”. Don’t compare yourself to anyone but yourself. No matter how good or bad everyone else is doing, the only person you are competing against is with yourself. If you don’t know who you are and what you want, I can’t help you.
Also, I have to go out and buy more wrapper. That day when I was shopping with my mom and siblings, we were supposed to get wrapper but I forgot.
Yesterday morning my mom watched Taken on starmovies. Ever since that movie whenever someone leaves she has to tell them not to get kidnapped and says that she won’t be able to save them.
I don’t care how much people beg for your company to events, sing your praises, or call you incessantly. Do you not realize you made innocent people sit out a 2-hour traffic jam just so that you can go to the train station? How does this make you a good person? Why do you get to do this and i’m still expected to be polite and civil to you? And in the middle of it you get a phone call from your friend saying that she’s in front of the house to pick you up?!?! Which one is it? Who do you want to go out with? Why was she stood up? Was she not cool enough for you? Yea big deal, you say that you just need to be sent to the train station and you can go the rest of the way yourself — guess what? every day you’re the one who chooses where you go and what you do, so don’t bleeping wait for and expect people to send you anywhere if you could’ve just walked out of the house in the morning by yourself since you’re so bleeping good at planning things and going places yourself. If you have to be sent to the train station, you might as well be sent all the way to midvalley (don’t act like you’re more creative than that cause I know you’re not above frequenting the same bleeping place since you’re so closed off to anything else and you bleeping think you know everything). Don’t tell me to move out of my house and get a job!
I just woke up an hour ago, I don’t need to be thinking about this, yet everyday it just haunts me because the whole experience is just so traumatizing. I can’t even spend a decent peaceful morning without having to put up with this.
Why does the laptop always have to get so hot? Ouch.
Anyway, I want a few things.
It would also be nice to have this. I don’t know what happened to me. Could it be that i’m truly alone in the world? Not without desserts i’m not. I don’t want to be so spiteful but everywhere I turn there’re reminders of the insults thrown at me. I can’t speak to anyone without certain names coming up in conversation. They don’t even have to choose sides though. Just knowing that they’re associated with the people who did that to me is enough to send me far away from them. I don’t want to be all alone for the rest of my life, but this thing isn’t going to just blow over. I feel victimized, I don’t like that feeling, it’s not something that I consciously do to myself. Why is it my fault for feeling offended when someone says something mean to me? Shouldn’t you blame her instead? So there, that’s why I truly have no one.
Yesterday, I went with the family to have lunch at Secret Recipe taipan. Again, no pictures, because the camera’s not mine. My mom was late to leave to go to Shangri-La Putrajaya. Later, after she and my brother had finished packing, I went with them to meet my mom’s friend at persiaran kewajipan, and then they got out of the car and went into hers, and I drove, or rather, waited out the massive traffic congestion, to get home.
- 2:15 pm Arrive home from seeing off mom and my brother
- 2:45 pm Send Adila to piano class
- 3:57 pm Is late to go pick her up
- 4:15 pm Arrive home, Aniza says wait let me log out of everything first
- 4:20 pm Set off for Adrianna’s birthday party
- 4:28 pm Omg this girl lives right on the bazaar ramadhan
So I tried to make the card for Adrianna’s present. I decided it was time to own up to who I really am, so I figured that there’s no better time to show my penmanship than on a somewhat peaceful weekend. It’s true, i’ve really let myself go and have started getting really sloppy with assembling things together. There’s even an ‘i’ i forgot to dot. I honestly can’t really believe that my handwriting has got this bad. I guess i’ll look around for ideas to make a better one next time. Anyway, the present was a notebook, and I wrapped it to make it look like a bigger present, just cause I think it’s fun to do that.
The party was supposed to finish at 6:30 pm, but Aniza only wanted to come home at 7:30 pm.